Wednesday, May 19, 2010

she's a buggle


it seems i was just helping this girl move into her dorm room.

but this past saturday i watched her put on a cap and gown and walk across a stage to get her college diploma. truly, i've been living in a time warp.

this can't be.


but there it is. there's no holding back time. and in the end, why would we want to? we raise our children in order to help them fly on their own. and fly this one is.

please forgive me for having a proud mommy moment.

i'm thinking of this kid who, a year and a half ago, moved to cairo (yes, that's cairo, egypt) to study abroad. it was mid august, and temperatures hit about 120 degrees in the desert. upon arrival she had to find her own apartment in a city of 17 million people. she spent the next months getting sick every 5 weeks, trying to learn Arabic and do her best in classes with 3 hour commutes through the dust, chaos and traffic of a huge Middle Eastern city. even so, she not only survived, she thrived off the experience. and every summer, in between semesters, she worked her butt off - getting experience at a law office, on a political campaign and last summer, at a major network where she lived on her own in washingon d.c.

so now she's off to a new job on her own. and i'm experiencing a mixture of regular mom worries and just...........happiness. to know your kid has learned everything you taught them. and then some. and to know it's their chance to show you how they plan to live in this world.


thinking back, i realize her push to independence came early. one day, when she was about 3 she insisting on pouring her own juice from the pitcher into a cup. when i tried to take it away she persisted. holding up her little hand to my face, she announced,

"Mamma, I can do this by myself. I'm a buggle."

not understanding her, I said, "what?"

and she repeated, "I'm a BUGGLE!!"


as she continued to struggle with the juice container i tried to parse out what she was trying to tell me when she repeated it one more time. suddenly the meaning of those toddler words slurred together became clear:

"Mom. I can do this by myself.  I'm a BIGGIRL now!"



oh yes you are. but no matter where you go or what you accomplish in life, i will see you in that misshapen pink flowered sundress you wore to death, wisps of hair bound together in purple hair bands, determined stance, fists balled on your hips. that 'don't mess with me' look on your face.

yes, you most certainly are a big girl now. but you will forever be that little girl in my heart.


xo♡a

10 comments:

  1. aw! you deserve many proud mom moments! this is awesome.

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  2. Oh Mama you should be EXTREMELY proud of your "big girl!" She sounds like an amazing human being. I wish for her the best that life has to offer and a future of happiness. Congratulations!!!

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  3. Lisa and Yoli - Thanks so much for your kind words and thoughts - they truly warm my heart!!! xoxo

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  4. Oh My Gosh Amanda,

    typing this through tears is not easy, and i'm sure i won't have the right words to say how much this moved me.
    You said it exquisitely, this precious mama moment.
    Your daughter is so beautiful (and brilliant) please don't make any apologys for being so proud, you and her SO deserve it. Congratulations to your darling buggle, i just know she's going to go on and do so many great things (look what she's done already!!). And you'll be there by her side, if not literally, always in your hearts.
    Be proud, this is so big, be PROUD!
    lots of love,
    lori

    p.s. such a lovely photo too (makes me cry all over again, graduations much more than weddings, SO much work to get here.)

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  5. Dear Lori.........i am so moved that you would take the time to write such a heartfelt comment.

    i love this new world of sharing with incredible people such as yourself and look forward to seeing your amazing photos and reading more of your beautiful family and life moments


    your thoughts and words are incredibly meaningful to me ---- thank you from the bottom of my heart

    xoxo

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  6. I am proud of your lovely Buggle too!

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  7. Oh, this post made me weepy. My daughter is 15 and the apron strings are unraveling faster each day. Congratulations to your daughter (and to you!!) wishing her every success.

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  8. Hi Diana - nice to meet you! I look forward to visiting your blog as well♡

    Sister - thanks so much - love you much♡

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  9. JaPRA - Thank you so much for your sweet comment ♡♡

    do enjoy the time with your daughter at home as the apron strings unravel -- those last few years are a mixture of knowing you'll miss them but also knowing they are ready to fly.....xoxo

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